So...

Have you ever seen the movie Closer?  There's a moment in the film where Jude Law spots Natalie Portman from across the street, and they smile at each other, and there's music playing "can't talk my eyes off of you", and it's romantic and lovely, and he walks towards her, and she walks towards him, and then she gets hit by a car?

That's how I feel every time I see a cute boy on the metro.  He looks adorable there, standing with one hand on his backpack, the other one holding a bar for balance with his eyes concentrating on the passing platforms.  He wears jeans and the kind of blue pullover sweater to which I am highly susceptible, and I think in my mind, I love you Chile for sending me cuties, and I plan the makeshift convo in my mind, and I'm positively joyous until the metro lurches to a stop.  The stop causes the boy to lurch forward and my heart drops and I send a curse to Chile because there IT is.

The Mullet.  My enemy.  The instant turn-off.  The reason why sometimes I dream about carrying around scissors and snipping away every single one until all Chileans are Mullet-less. And rattail-less.  And dreaded mullet/rattail-less. 

The thing is that you never know where the mullet will turn up.  In the U.S. you can pretty much be assured that a mullet will be accompanied by some combo of gel, a grungy t-shirt, a bandana, a small town where they don't know any better, an 80's fetish, leather/metal necklaces, a leather jacket or acid washed jeans.  Here, they can attach to anyone's head.  A preppy guy with a striped sweater and khakis?  Watch out for the mullet.  A hippie with a brightly colored pants, a cozy, loud poncho and a beard?  Watch out for the mullet.  

Stupid mullets.

Apparently they are called chocos or chocopandas here.  Apparently ice cream truck vendors used to have them and then everyone thought it would be cool to look like ice cream truck vendors.  And apparently Chilean girls like them? My friend who has a small one tells me that his girlfriend likes to twirl the long part of his hair around her fingers...

...

loss for words.